For the single person, marriage is a sickness, a dreadful pact of convenience driven by loneliness, a pact that is easily broken at the first sign of temptation. The problem (or solution) is, most married folk are too busy or too lazy to find themselves another suitable option and are left only with masturbation and large metal dildos to fill the sexual void. However, with the development of adult sites and adult personals, online married dating has turned from a pathetic chipmunk to a ferocious, marriage eating cheetah and it is only a matter of time until the so-called "sanctity of marriage" is destroyed completely, while the conservative Nazis in Congress are busy fighting the gays.

Online Married Dating Starts with the Bad Marriage

Bad marriages, you see, are a lot like M. Night Shyamalan's "The Village," a movie with an ending so predictably bad that you fool yourself into thinking it won't happen. I think I know what's going to happen, but there's no way the ending is that bad, I mean, he wouldn't be so foolish as to...oh my God!!! He is!!!

As we all know, divorce rates are high, which is good for the divorce lawyer and the bridal industries, but that is another angle for another time. Yet despite these escalating figures providing the virtual "thumbs up" for separation, for the online married dating whore, divorce is not an option for one of two reasons - they depend on the security of their married life or they relish the idea of cheating itself. After all, you can't cheat on your ex-husband or wives now, can you? And so we have online adult dating for the married man or woman.

Starting Your Online Married Dating Career

Of course, now that you have come to the realization that your marriage is a sham, it doesn't mean you can simply just walk outside and enter some crazed adult dating fuckfest. No my friends, life is hardly that simple and the road ahead is filled with potential psychopaths, pedophiles and debilitating venereal diseases. Essentially, meeting people online is a crapshoot and danger is plentiful. Sure, there are adult dating reviews to help you pick the appropriate site, but choosing a good pimp doesn't mean his merchandise isn't on some herpes medication. This warning applies mainly to the women, because as a man, a woman could have knives sticking out from her vagina for all we care. She has herpes and clymidia? Well, there's a cure, isn't there? Women, on the other hand, need more than just a penis, for reasons beyond my comprehension.

Now you might be thinking to yourself, fiddlesticks, I'm going to the bar. This is fine for most, but as a married person, this is not an option. You might run into a relative or a friend of your spouse. What are you doing here? Oh, I'm here to cheat on my wife with some floozy I met online. What brings you here?

Online Married Dating Effects

Once you've found a suitable partner through the adult personals, you might begin to feel a strange, foreign feeling, an indescribable urge to "save your marriage." This is a ridiculous, fleeting feeling, most often driven by guilt on anniversaries and birthdays. This will pass and any ideas of saving a marriage that was a sham in the first place is like Keanu Reeves trying to save a career that peaked during his portrayal of a time-traveling hippie.

Saving Marriages with Online Married Dating

So there you are, on your way to a dangerous and exciting adventure of online married dating. You will need to brush up on your lying, manipulation and internet detective skills, all things that will be necessary survival tools for the new millennium. Ironically, if you somehow perfect these skills and successfully get away with cheating on your spouse, it may be the only thing that keeps your marriage together. You won't have to badger your tired spouse for sex. Your temporary guilt will make you more eager to please and make you more inclined to give in during an argument. So I encourage you to peruse the adult sites and give in to your temptation. If not for yourself, then do it for the sake of your marriage. Do it, dare I say, for the kids.